Day # 32 : To forget .

I blogged about today , & mainly this post is about my feelings tho .
Im yesh , i dont know how to explain .
Im hurt , im lonely , im pretending .
You know what ? Whether you know , or you don't .
Its never gonna affect me again .
You know , to forget you . It needs alot of understanding .
Yes , understanding , endurance , time .
I need to understand , this pain would be over .
This nights spent crying , would be gone ,
This wanting , this needing , this luvzing would disappear .
I need endurance , to endure th pain .
To endure , what im feeling .
To endure my tears , my pain . my troubles .
I need time , for everything to pass over ,
to have everything to be gone .
For my wounds to be healed & gone .
you know , th moment i knew you had ur luvz faded .
What i felt was , Relieved , sad , lost .
Im relieved , cus i think , whatever you think of me , no longer matters .
No longer needed , nor cared .
Relieved because , th days where we walked in circles , are ended .
I was sad because , i still had luvzed you , tho not as deep .
Sad because , our months of relationship had ended .
But im lost , because , i dont know how to get over you .
neither do i know how to accept th fact .
yesh , thats what i mainly felt .
Im really hurt this time . and this time , its really over .
i dont want neither do i bother with a second chance to fix this whole thing .
because i know , Theres a sort of luvz cor giving up .
theres this thing , that tells me . Its time to really end everything .
& i cant see it in ur eyes , Youre moving on happily .
& that will be my motivation .
I really wanted you to be there for everything and stuffs .
yet , i dont need hurts and pain from you .
I realised , this is a game , that was meant to be over .
We just prolonged it .
This might be my last post about you . I really hope .
I will be truly happy , and truly forget & giveup alrd .
Let me give this thing , a official goodbye , from my heart .
You'll neh be forgotten , for telling me about luvz , and whats pain .
Im just so sorry , that th hurt i gave you last time & stuff .
But we'll neh be friends and everything again .
You werent my true luvz , neither was i urs .
Now , i hope you'll find yours .
and thank you fr th beautiful memories , cus i'll always smile @ them .
instead of crying for them .